I found Jesus in a bowl of alphabet soup and you can too.

While it sounds great in practice, I find it suspicious that they never mention the the final bill.

If you’re in the USA, the system of laws is so convoluted and complex that you literally cannot know if you aren’t breaking any laws at any given time and simultaneously, pretty much every functional adult has broken some law at some point in their life.

But, all that aside, it doesn’t matter, because in practice the police can pull you over and detain you for almost any reason or no reason at all. Even if that’s not legal, there’s pretty much nothing stopping them in the heat of the moment.

I know this might sound overly pessimistic, but it’s actually largely true. For example, I was driving home from the bar just a couple hours ago, and there were hundreds of people driving the wrong way down the freeway. Nearly spilled my drink a couple of times trying to avoid them all.

No, it’s because money is green and money is the root of all evil so since plants have roots, plants are also green. Except for all the myriad different species and cultivars that aren’t green at all, they ain’t got no money. They ain’t got no car to take you on a date. Tthey can’t even buy you flowers.

I see you Mitchell, and I know you posted this. With your egg salad smelling breath and your egg salad smelling farts and that egg salad eating grin on your face.

dammit, I knew I should have read the comments before making my own

guess I know what I need to do now

been nice knowing you

Just the one?

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I was a relatively well to do suburban housewife in the USA circa the 60’s and 70’s (or maybe a tad earlier). It all just feels so idealized. And even if I still saw behind the charade and could not tolerate the gilded superficiality of it all, I could legally get really good drugs (presumably) so that I simply did not care anymore. Good thing they didn’t feature me in that Matrix movie.

Nah, no balls needed. Just the sack.

Your demons say shit like that. My demons say “wish that bitch had auto correct”. We are not the same.

One tube, two tube. Me tube. You tube.

Bravo! I’ll need to have a look, do they also have a video with helpful hints for overcoming the blind spots that prevent you from fitting your BMW into a single parking space in crowed parking lots?

Brain: Are you pondering what I’m pondering?

Pinky: Yes Brain, but where are we going to find a pink wet suit our size?

Hey boo

Yep, looks just like papaw’s pipe cleaner.

You smell my farts, not my poop.

You suck my dick, not my soul.

You should get tested, I have an STD.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

– Daffy Duck

Mary was said to be a virgin when she had Jesus. So, that’s clearly the first and only known occurrence of parthenogenesis in humans.

Mary could have had X and Y chromosomes, but then she wouldn’t have been able to carry a pregnancy without hormone treatment that didn’t exist in those days. So, we know factually that she would have only had X chromosomes (even if she had a abnormality like XXX).

Therefore, baby Jesus only had X chromosomes. This means either Jesus was intersex (ex: XX male) or Jesus was transgender. It’s in the bible. QED

>Time is like an endless human centipede except it’s measured in days and weeks instead of mouths and assholes.

– Abraham Licoln

What with all the scribbles and such? Best I can do is ask AI, which came back with this response:

Acnodon senai, Sena’s pacu, is a species of freshwater ray-finned fish belonging to the family Serrasalmidae, which includes the pacus and piranhas. This fish is found in Brazil.