• devAlot@lemmy.world
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      12 days ago

      Totally get where you’re coming from. If you’re staring down the barrel of something massive like trauma, abuse, an entire system that’s completely fucked and seems way bigger than you and the others fighting it are or ever will be, it feels like no matter how much “self care” you do, the external crap stays the same, right?? It’s fucking maddening.

      But idk, to me, therapy (actual, good therapy with a non-shitty therapist) isn’t about giving us power over the root cause, not always anyways because like you said, sometimes it’s impossible. Imo, a lot of times it’s about helping people stop handing more power to “it” (whatever it may be) than “it” already has. We don’t get to choose what happens to us sometimes, but we do get to choose how we respond to it, how we carry it, how we let it affect us, how we pass our pain onto others. Realizing that can be a super uncomfortable, yet extremely liberating, paradox. Like, okay, I might not be able to slay the dragon here (sorry, nerd here), but I can sure as hell stop feeding it in whatever way I was (constant unhealthy thought patterns, my own actions or the lack thereof, etc).

      Therapy doesn’t fix the world for sure, but it can help us decide which parts of the suffering are necessary, or which parts we might be unconsciously choosing to carry longer than we need to. Idk, that’s where our power really is, imo.

      Edit: fixed some typos

  • Gorilladrums@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Therapy has become the new buzzword to prescribe to any individualistic issue because most people don’t know what it is or who its for, they just think it’s a silver bullet solution to everything because everybody else says so… but it’s not.

    Therapy is great for specific people with specific disorders, it’s there to help provide these people with solutions and treatments to improve their conditions. It’s not meant to be a replacement for a social circle or to fix the problems in your life.

    Not to mention that therapy is either expensive or hard to access or the therapist you do get to see are usually not that great. It is very hard and very rare to find a good therapist that’s affordable and nearby. Even then, a therapist can only do so much. They’re trained to work through common disorders using several established methods, but not much beyond that. Therapists can help you overcome your anxiety, but they can’t help you find meaningful relationships.

    This is doubly true for men, because a lot of men are facing issues related to finding purpose and meaning in life, and that’s something that’s beyond the scope of therapy. Maybe these issues could be resolved as a result of treating a disorder, but that’s not always the case. The point is that therapy is not a magical solution, and it’s not going to solve huge societal problems like men turning their backs on society.

    • NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      You say men are turning their backs on society. I would argue it’s the other way round. Modern society has lots of problems unfortunately, and can be quite hostile especially to men.

        • NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 months ago

          No? It’s the fault of all genders. Men perpetuate ideas that hurt other men, and women perpetuate ideas that hurt other women. Vice versa is equally true.

            • NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              2 months ago

              No one is saying women don’t have it rough. The difference is one gender is being pushed out of society, the other is being pushed under it. Men are basically encouraged to give up and go away, maybe commit suicide or go fight in a war. Women are encouraged to find a “man” and become some tradwife who has no agency. Neither is a good thing, but don’t pretend they aren’t different.

                • NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  1 month ago

                  What is a 5150 hold exactly and how is it relevant? It seems it’s a California thing, and I don’t live in or have ever visited Los Estados Unidos.

      • selfdefense420@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        men built society. whatever problems are inherent in it were practically designed by men. as a matter of fact, the further we go, the more we slip away from the feminine qualities of our humanity (our more egalitarian hunter-gatherer roots). and as it begins to collapse around us, you incels are gonna cry about how it’s unfair? fuck you. put your big boy pants on and deal with it. or better yet, retreat completely from it and let the people with honest consciences rebuild it.

        god, i fucking hate incels.