Want higher birthrates? Just convince people that tomorrow will be better than today.

That’s how you see a spike in birth rates.

To maintain a steady birthrate, just convince potential parents that the world will not be any worse for their children than it is today.

See, easy.

See my first sentence.

If that embyo goop isn’t your property, it should be.

And if you’ve broken into the fertility clinic, that’s definitely a crime.

You can say that was mostly the Romans. If you needed a calendar fucked up, they were the ones to do it.

If he was a coward he would never have hired Joel Kaplan.

Joel Kaplan was a Bush toady who participated in the Brooks Brothers riot.