I wish I was the kind of person who would do this.

I mean, back in 2004 a guy bought a 100x100 from In-n-Out. (100 patties, 100 slices of cheese.)

Early on when it was coming into the US shops made the distinction, but Americans just sort of conflated the two. Makes it confusing if you want bubble tea with jelly and not pearls.

This has bugged me for twenty years.

“Bubble tea” refers to tea that is mixed in a shaker, creating a small layer of bubbles when it is served.

“Bubble tea with pearls” is the one with tapioca pearls in the bottom. Milk tea is tea made with milk.

Jack Handey was an SNL writer, “Deep Thoughts” was a series of one-liners that aired between sketches in the early 90s.

If you don’t want to eat shit, try eating fermented food, especially stuff you ferment yourself. Kimchi, sauerkraut, fermented pickles…all good for refreshing your gut biome.

There really should be a “shut the fuck up and leave me alone” option.

Like with all the political texts, I just respond “fuck off” and ~90% of them respond “you’ve been unsubscribed.”

He ate hot wings last night.

“No, no, NO! The chatbot needs a more comprehensive lexicon of slurs! Did you feed it the entirety of stand up comedy by white men from 1960-1988 like I told you to?”

Facebook: at least we didn’t go with our first choice, David Duke.

Jesus, is there any way both sides can lose? Because fuck ticket scalpers, but fuck Ticketmaster too.