I’ve never liked most of their food, but you used to be able to get a hot, cheap, and quick meal there. And at least the fries were tasty, and the Coca-Cola was perfect.

In the 80s and 90s, going to McDonald’s felt like a guilty pleasure. It felt cheap, but you were in on it so it was ok.

Now it feels cheap at your expense. It’s sparse, like they’re providing the minimal viable product. The fries are garbage, the Coke is garbage, and the service is garbage.

You don’t know that it’s “most often”.

That’s just how you feel about it. You’re being judgmental but don’t have any idea.

That’s how basically all our fruits started. Do you think some ancient person just stumbled across a watermelon one day? Fuck no. They found something as disgusting as olives, decided it was good enough, then hundreds of years of selective breeding happened.

Have you ever seen a wild banana? It’s bullshit. You’d peel it open and that’s what you’d say: “This is bullshit.”

Meanwhile olives have been cultivated for olive oil for thousands of years, so that’s probably why people kept growing them in their bitter form.

Esmeralda from Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Jane from Tarzan.

Depends where you are. Louisiana? Still pretty good. Houston? They changed their suppliers years ago so now instead of getting tenders they just get gristle. 100% gristle. Totally unchewable.

Layne’s is better. Same concept, but executed well.

It wouldn’t shut up about it.

I’d clear it with the couple. It’s their day.